Break-up letter to my containerware?

Break-up letter to my containerware?

Dear tupperware collection

This is really difficult to write because I’ve loved you for so long. We’ve spent so many years together, thru good times (like I-can’t-even-count-how-many leftover mac-n-cheese dinners) and bad (like the time I was temporarily insane and let the kids store that godforsaken homemade slime in you). The first time I saw you (OMG!) I was like, whoa…. “Hello, you curvy, sexy, super clean collection of plasticware! I can’t live without you!!” You were so good to me! And, OMG, the ALONE TIME we had!!! Grrrrrr!!! Quietly storing everything from hamburger patties to naughty chocolate morsels! I couldn’t get enough!!! 

But, things have changed.

Lately you’re totally disorganised and discolored. It’s like you don’t give a sh!t about me or packing fresh veggies anymore! Seriously, I’m embarrassed to take you on a playdate for fear of other parents thinking we are pure trash! Have you even seen that messy PIT you call your “drawer”?? GEEZUS, how can you live like that!?? Your “drawer” used to be a tidy little stack of plastic storage joy! But now, it’s overstuffed with like seven mismatched lids for every GOSHDARN tub! And, you’re in there cohabiting with old empty water bottles (WITHOUT CAPS!), random Chinese take-out containers, and my new stainless steel thermos!! I mean, seriously, why are you such a being such a little BEATCH?!!

What am I saying?!!! WAIT!!!… I don’t want to break up! Sweet cheese and crackers!!! I don’t want to start a long term relationship with Ziplock bags and plastic wrap thats killing our environment.

BUT, maybe it’s ME and not YOU, right? Maybe if I got the right containers...containers with lids attached, ones that stacked and nested neatly in your drawer. Maybe if my kids could easily put you away stacking on top effortlessly. Could I love you again? YES YES I COULD.

Let’s take some baby steps together and start again. But, I swear, if you leak gravy all over the INSIDE OF THE REFRIGERATOR like you did last Thanksgiving (remember that!!!?) it’s O.V.E.R!! Hang on a minute can these be leakproof too!




Toni Bofinger

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